We have a new website and it is built on the strongest of foundations: art. Our new paint-smith, John G, is working. And it is excellent. I’m giving him a round of applause right now, in fact, we should all give him a round of applause. We should make John happy because we respect his talents and the fact that the rest of us have none.

Here’s what we shouldn’t do: make John cry.

This stupid lovely new hateful website keeps on fighting with Internet Explorer in its many hell-filled guises, and shatters all of John’s hard work into a mess of tables and padding. Ordinarily we’d say “screw this, we’re not going to pander to the big corporations, we’re beatniks!” and then go and shoot our girlfriends in Mexico.

But that just wouldn’t be the ‘video game way’, which more usually involves falling to your death repeatedly, or smacking into invisible barriers. Why anyone would WANT to feel like that, we’re not quite sure, but we subjected ourselves to hours and hours of it anyway. HOURS!

I used to regularly use and even enjoy Internet Explorer. Me and it were the best of buds, hanging out and fishing and playing catch. Now? Well, we’ve barely spoken to each other ever since it got all fat and self-righteous and bought a yacht in the Cayman islands. Twat. I’m severing ties for good this time.

Oh, I know! You know what would make John feel better? Buying up all of our delicious merchandise that’s coming your way right now! He’d love that. He’d love you. In fact I’m pretty sure he’d owe you a life debt and follow you around like Morgan Freeman, pretending to be Turkish. Sweet!

[ROBIN'S NOTE: A few small issues still remain with the site, they'll all be fixed tomorrow.The store is working but not looking very flashy - sexiness will be added asap.]